Monday, April 7, 2025

Somebody Stop Me!




TONIGHT TONIGHT! Join us on the Reds and Readers Facebook page for the Jungle Reds Happy Hour--we will all be there, wil chat and conversation and news and prizes--joins us, as always, on the 7th of the month at 7pm ET! Just go to @RedsandReaders on Facebook!





HANK PHILLIPPI RYAN: Oh my golly, I will never learn. And I am terrified at how much my computer seems to know what tempts me. It’s embarrassing!


















I am completely and humiliatingly unable to resist what I know is total Clickbait.


”See shocking before and after pictures of celebrity plastic surgery!” I know I shouldn’t look, but I have to. “How stars looked when they were kids!” Oh, I need to look at that Just, just for a moment.



“The very best Italian subs as chosen by our expert testers.” Reds and Readers, I don’t even like Italian subs, but I thought well, I should know this!

The only kind of potato chips to buy. Don’t I need to have that information?

And who could resist: “if your salmon has these characteristics, throw it away instantly!”

I mean, I’m gonna look.















I know I know, if I click on luggage (guilty) mascara (guilty) cute underwear (guilty), how not to dress like an old person (guilty) they’re going to bombard me with ads. And yet, I still click. (I never sign up, though, at least.)

Even the time I clicked on the world’s most hideous dress just to see if it actually could be as hideous as it looked, ( it was), I kept getting emails saying “that dress you loved is on sale!” And I would yell at the computer: I did not love the dress! I hated the dress! Stop showing me the dress!


Dear Reds and Readers, when you see “The top 10 things you should always do the minute you get into your hotel room,” or “amazing kitchen hacks” or “why you should always carry a bread wrapper clip in your wallet” do you say: oh, I need to know that? Or are you strong enough to skip it?


JULIA SPENCER-FLEMING: Hank, I’m sorry if this embarasses you, but I am the person who NEVER clicks on those teasers. I’m paranoid about being followed around the web (can we still say the web? Is that term old as dust now?) I use NoScript and Adblocker Plus and I regularly delete my cookies and history.


What I WILL do, if I’m really intrigued, is search for the phrase “how not to dress like an old person.” Yeah, that one always gets me, too. Usually I can find the original article the clickbait provider used. This might also generate ads, but guess what? With AdBlocker, I never see them! (I swear I’m not paid to shill for them; I just love the product.)



HANK: Nope, not embarrassed. I always knew you were wiser! (And pssst, anyone know how the money works, anyway?)


HALLIE EPHRON: I’ve no idea. But there’s always money.

I avoid most clickbait, but the thing that snags me is a photo of delicious-looking something with a link to a promised.

Click.

And get a looooong prelude, something about how delicious it will be. Then another click to read something or other marginally related. THEN click to finally get to the recipe which might get drawn out over several clicks, too. Caching caching caching. Annoying. Makes it worth paying for NYTimes COOKING.


LUCY BURDETTE: Hallie, I do pay for NY Times Cooking but I’m still drawn to those cooking videos. I just watched one with ground meat and other ingredients baked in filo balls with a dipping sauce that had me drooling. What else?



Anything with cats, agility dogs, and these hysterical half-huskies who try all kinds of foods with equally funny captions and t-shirt slogans. I guess I’m easily amused:).


HANK: I LOVE the huskies. And cats doing wacky things.


RHYS BOWEN: I’m trying to be more cautious about clicking. I confess I have been lured in the past to click on How Smart are you? Or talking parrots. Or adorable rescued horses. I do still check out some travel posts : five places you want to avoid in Europe this year etc. And I have learned, the hard way, that things are not what they seem. A sale of Chico’s clothing was a scam. Luckily my credit card refunded the money. And once I ordered what looked like a chic linen dress. When it came it was thin polyester and only fit for a night shirt. So no more buying from Facebook!


JENN McKINLAY: Travel pics always, always, always get me. National parks, foreign destinations, and I’m clicking and now that’s all my feed is - yes, please, take me away! Skincare is another weakness. Yes, I will click and buy the viral Korean collagen mask and now they email me daily but the mask is awesome so it’s okay!



Given the precarious economic times we’re in, I have told the fam - you can click but not buy - austerity measures are back in place. I wonder how these product advertisers and businesses will try and lure us when our purses are snapped shut? Hmm.


(HANK: Agreed. Not a penny spent for anything. But also, I started learning french, and now all my Insta feed is French. Which I..love. But how does it know?)






DEBORAH CROMBIE: I’m in the Julia camp here. We have ad blocker, and we have something added to Facebook that keeps me from seeing a lot of the click-baity stuff. And I kind of have a rule about not clicking on the videos, because even if it’s something I know is legit, they are so distracting. I think I’m the only person in the world who doesn’t watch cute cat videos! But I”m going to have to look up the huskies.

Also, if I see an ad for something on Instagram that I might actually want to buy, I go to the product website rather than clicking on the IG link. Rhys, apparently the Chico’s scam was a big thing! You weren’t the only one that got sucked into that.

HANK: Oh, I don't know about the Chico scam! So, Reds and readers, what do YOU click on, and how do you stay away? Any clickbait temptations? Movie stars, the royals, skin care,color wheels, cooking tricks, kitchen gadgets, hotel secrets? BUT!

TRUST ME.

Click on this.

Truly.

Do it.

https://www.facebook.com/reel/740643751630909


Jenn, back me up on this. (I know someone will lst me know if the link doesn't work.)

86 comments:

  1. I have an ad blocker, too, and I try to stay away from all those ads. I only shopped on Facebook once; then because my search sent me there and it worked out just fine. But there seems to be a lot of disgruntled Facebook shoppers so I'm not particularly tempted to shop there . . . .
    However, I'll click on anything NASA or space . . . .

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    1. Oh, that's so interesting! I didn't know that about you, Joan! xx

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  2. Another never clicker here. There is so much that shows up in my FB feed that I just don’t want to see. I have made purchases from a Facebook post, but only from companies like LL Bean and Easy Spirit that I already regularly shop at their websites. Happy Monday! Am in need of a happy hour today, see you later. Elisabeth

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    1. That is what is worrisome about the Chico’s scam. People thought it was the legit company.

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    2. The one time I fell for a scam, I was told I'd won a book from one of our Jungle Red's contests. I followed the link, filled in all the info and gave them my credit card. About 5 minutes later, it dawned on me! #%@&&!!! I called my credit card company and canceled the card before the scammers did any damage. And I reported it. And I, talk about red (faced), let the contest holders know about the scam.

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    3. Oh no, I hate that the JRW was used to scam you Judy! My theory. these days is look at something on FB but only buy from the actual company website.

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    4. Hank Phillippi RyanApril 7, 2025 at 8:36 AM

      What? That is so terrible! I’m glad you are wise enough to figure it out…

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  3. I used to click on things but now I am a recovering clicker.

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    1. Hank Phillippi RyanApril 7, 2025 at 8:36 AM

      A recovering clicker! Good for you!

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  4. So sorry to miss happy hour but I'll watch it later. My Hebrew Ulpan is tonight and I confirmed that I'd be there.

    About clicking: Facebook has my number, for sure. I posted a photo of bears in my neighbor's back yard and I saw more bear photos and videos than you can imagine. Here's the interesting thing, I never buy anything from clicking a Facebook ad except for (really inexpensive) romances for my Kindle from Amazon. So, almost all my Facebook ads are for romances. Otherwise, if it is clothing, I go directly to the website to look at it. I do expand stories about actors or baby animals at zoos, but only if I am familiar with the source. For instance, the Cincinnati Zoo has a Webcam on their new cheetah kits (I think that's the correct pairing.) Fidelco, a guide dog raising and training facility in the next town from mine, posts photos of their German Shepherd pups at all stages. OMG, too cute!
    But what makes the algorithms decide not to take you there anymore? Not to show you what you obviously want to follow? I think, once again, it's about the $$. I buy the romances. I don't buy the puppies or the bears.

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    1. Hank Phillippi RyanApril 7, 2025 at 8:37 AM

      Yes, that is so fascinating… There’s just so much computer shuffling and decision-making going on in the background that we never know… Really terrifying.

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  5. I used to click so when I see something of interest, I go to the actual website.

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    1. Hank Phillippi RyanApril 7, 2025 at 8:38 AM

      That is such a good idea! That one moment where you could click… And you decide no, let’s see what this really is. Very smart, dear Dru!

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  6. I'm a reformed clicker also. In fact, so reformed that Facebook is desperately throwing ads at me in hopes I will click on something--anything! It's amazing what the algorithm thinks I might find interesting. If I ever see anything that does pique my interest, I go to the website.

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    1. Hank Phillippi RyanApril 7, 2025 at 8:39 AM

      And it seems like it’s getting worse, doesn’t it? The proportion of advertisements to real posts is much different than it used to be, don’t you think?

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  7. I just logged onto Facebook and a prime example of what I'm talking about popped up in my feed: breastmilk jewelry. I kid you not. I can't even.....

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    1. Hank Phillippi RyanApril 7, 2025 at 8:39 AM

      Oh my goodness, what does that even mean? And obviously, I’m not going to look it up :-)

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    2. Flora, I don't even want to know...

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  8. I love that video, Hank!

    Like Rhys, I once bought on FB what I thought was a cute dress. It was a MILE wide and of icky fabric. My click weaknesses are the royal children and a little British girl named Esme (itsabuglife) whose parents video her running on their many walks outside. She trips and falls and gets up constantly and has the most charming accent.

    The only way I justify staying on Facebook (which I happen to love being on) is that I never give Zberg money for anything. No buying anything, no sponsored posts, no ads for my books.

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    1. Also, I have an author event a couple of towns away starting at five, but I might be back by seven - will try to make the happy hour.

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    2. Hank Phillippi RyanApril 7, 2025 at 8:41 AM

      Ohhhhhh it is going to be a struggle for me not to look up Esme! And yes, isn’t the video hilarious? I learned about her from Jenn— she is such a genius!

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  9. I use NordVPN which includes an adblocker on my PC, tablet & smartphone. Even thoughb I am in Taiwan, I am not seeing any clickable ads as I surf the Internet or post aboit my Taiwanese adventures on FB.

    I hope to join the R&R happy hour. It is the only morning (7 am Tuesday, Taipei) when I acan be available to joinvp you online.

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    1. Hank Phillippi RyanApril 7, 2025 at 8:41 AM

      We cannot wait to hear about your adventures, Grace! You are such an inspiration!

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    2. Awww you're too kind, HANK! Hope my chat text on FB live has fewer errors.
      Blogger really messes up most of the text I write!

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  10. You guys are hilarious. And I love that Oxford comma gal! She's the 21st century/video version of Karen Elizabeth Gordon's charmingly illustrated The Well-Tempered Sentence and The Deluxe Transitive Vampire.

    I've started using Duck Duck Go when I want to search for something, or visit a website that I know will end up following me around like a lost puppy. It keeps cookies from burrowing into your system, and there's an option to "burn" your tracks that will keep sites from tracking you. It could be very useful for an author, by the way. And you can use it on any mobile device.

    For Facebook I use both FluffBuster, and Facebook Purity, but neither of them work on an Android phone, poo. It keeps ads from appearing when I access FB through my browser (as opposed to through the app), but when ads start on my phone I am relentless about clicking on the "X" at the upper right corner, which "hides" that particular ad. Then they go away for awhile. I also hide reels, and friend suggestions, because otherwise they take up the whole feed. It's where some of the targeted ads come from, too. FB helpfully adds them back about once a month, but I just hide them again. Take that, Zuck!

    But a week or two ago I think I got scammed, and I'm not alone; at least one other friend also got sucked into this one. I ordered some subversive garden-related t-shirts with pretty and very clever (political, natch) designs. And now I'm getting emails saying they're in transit--in Italy, Spain, and Greece. Uh-oh. Luckily, it wasn't a lot of money, but it still makes me mad.

    I'll try to remember to log on tonight! (Setting alarm now.)

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    1. Hank Phillippi RyanApril 7, 2025 at 8:42 AM

      Yes, those emails about something being in transit are fascinating. Actually, I think, even though it’s frustrating, it means that the company is more legitimate. At least it actually exists, what do you think?

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    2. Well, we'll see, I guess!

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    3. I ordered a Gulf of Mexico t-shirt and turns out it came from China--but I did get it.

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    4. Thanks, Debs. I'm just crossing my fingers. I actually ordered four shirts and a hat, since I needed gardening clothes. They were not too expensive, so I'm hoping it's just a wonky setup and not a scam.

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    5. Yes, every time I have had those emails, it's good.

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  11. Another never-clicker here. What those algorithms can do is SCARY. And those scam fake ads are so infuriating. Thanks for the chuckles this morning, Hank!

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  12. It's a dangerous time of year for me: ten plants guaranteed to grow under a tree/in the shade, best pollinator plants ever, one packet of zinnia seeds will cover your embankment...and the toughest to resist, a net "guaranteed to keep cicadas off your young trees"! Yes, the 17 year variety is coming.

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    1. Ohhhh the CICADAS! And the "save your garden" stuff is very tempting!

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  13. I read several news sites that give small collections of article-things that happened today, or things like ‘best things to put in an Easter Basket’ – all ‘legitimate’ articles. These are sort-of like reading an Oprah magazine in that you know you can’t afford them, but you read them to see either how foolish they are or how expensive they are, and therefore can feel superior while slurping your coffee in a dirty sweatshirt – I know you do it do! Like Julia, I have ad-bloc, and should an article come through that the website refuses to let me read because I have ad-bloc – delete. No skin off my nose. I do wonder if they are secretly sending me foolishness.
    Now if you want to talk about just talking in the house. Talk from dining room to living room and look at that! The next thing on Facebook is a promo for whatever was the topic, and the worse offender in that case is Home Depot. Going to rain tomorrow – obviously you need a generator – here is an ad. Sunny – you need some fertilizer (their cow-poop doesn’t count – not spreadable)
    Arggghhhh!

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    1. Right, Margo. The ads related to verbal conversations or sent emails - yikes! And I don't have a so-called "smart" speaker like Alexa, which should be called a spy-speaker.

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    2. I have Alexa but I only turn it on for the question of the day and then I turn it off. But for all I know it is listening even when it gets no power!

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    3. Margo, a lot of those "legitimate " articles are AI-generated.

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    4. Oh, yes, it's very intrusive. We do have an ALexa, and i hope we bore it to death...

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    5. Edith, you get those ads without having any kind of speaker in your house??! That’s really scary…. — Pat S

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    6. A friend works for one of the "alphabet " agencies, and he says our phones are listening to us. If you say something anywhere near your phone, it takes note.

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  14. i hate the way they monetize our attention and preferences and try to sell it back to us. I don't do any of the FB ads. Occasionally I will click on what looks like a link to a story I'm interested in, but if I have to wade through pages, forget it. I do love the videos of dogs and cats--I loved the My Cat is an Asshole group, until they closed it. I tried to join, but somehow only answered one of the three gatekeeping questions. Now I get the Dull Men's Club stories in my feed. Both these groups SEEM to be real people, telling real stories, some of which are hilarious.

    So sorry to miss Happy Hour. I'm going to Salem today to lobby and the hearing on the immigration bill starts at 3:30 (6:30 to you East coasters) Have fun!

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  15. I have an ad blocker too and I'm sure it prevents some things but not others. However, there are some things that might interest me and now I have learned the hard way not to click. That thing about wrapping your doorknob with foil? Seemed like I clicked forever and never did find out the purpose. Does anyone know?

    There was another thing that was promised but after only a few clicks I realized this wasn't going anywhere so I gave up. I like to use DuckDuckGo for searching because it doesn't track you, but I'm not sure the results are as complete as others. Still, it's my first go-to.

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    1. Those are SO tempting!!! And the whole goal is to get you to keep clicking...I

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  16. No, I don't click. If I think something looks interesting from a company, I go to the official website. I can't install Adblocker on my work computer, which is ironically where most of these come up. I hadn't heard about the Chico's scam, but the other big one was when Bed, Bath & Beyond went out of business.

    The money is all about getting clicks.

    What I wish I could figure out (and stop) is how my email keeps getting bombarded with junk - more than what is attributable to what I buy online. Newsletters I never subscribed to. That kind of thing.

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    1. I would like to know that too Liz. I think maybe when places ask for your email to give a receipt they have your email address and can sell it to advertisers. Or if you buy something online...
      Anyway, it is so difficult to even find the "remove me from receiving emails."
      They often ignore it and I keep getting their emails.

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    2. Also, many “remove me from emails” are scams. Where you were never on the email list to begin with. You get added by requesting removal.This is really common in “junk” emails. I’ve found it best to block addresses if your mail program gives you that option. Elisabeth

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    3. Exactlyl. Good point about blocking instead of unsubscribing..that's what I do, too.

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    4. Elisabeth, I know part of it is selling. You buy from Company A and they sell your contact info to Company B, who then starts sending emails. But this is excessive... and often the new emails aren't even asking me to buy anything. I don't know how many times I've gotten subscribed to whack-job political newsletters.

      And yes, I only use the unsubscribe link for legit companies I recognize - for example, I bought a gift, but I'm not going to buy from them regularly. The others get deleted. Fortunately, MacMail does a good job "unsubscribing" me from things in a way so my email doesn't get passed on. And after not reading from a particular place for a while, it starts sending them to Junk.

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  17. I keep getting this message every morning when I check my cell phone - "Take our survey..."
    I just delete it. Or sometimes the internet will have a quiz testing/tempting you to find out if you know the capitols of the 50 states, or who is in which rock in roll band, etc. These are ways that you are tracked for your interests.

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    1. Yup. ANd we all always want to be reassured about how smart we are, right? :-) guilty.

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  18. I don't do any of the social media sites. Occasionally will do Tic Tock and I get sucked into a whirl of mindless time consuming videos. Ugh. I do like X so I can "scream" at Musk and MAGA's.

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  19. Oh, Hank, I just shared the link you posted on IG last night!! Isn't that great?? I watched it 3 times I loved it so much. (no spoilers)

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    1. SO GREAT! INcredibly and deeply clever, I so agree! xxx

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  20. HANK: Such a great topic! I wish I was as restrained as some people here. I have to remind myself to STOP going into the rabbit hole via clickbait. Has everyone fallen for their trick of "a story" and you click to get the rest of the story then you NEVER find out the end?

    Someone mentioned Chicos ad from Facebook? I shopped there once IRL at a brick and mortar store at this huge mall many years ago and I remember getting an entire outfit for $3 in 1994. Speaking of ads, WATCH OUT for Easy Comforts, a mail order company. They are HORRID!

    When I checked out AdBlocker, there seems to be several options. Can you please give the link to your AdBlocker so I know which one to sign up for? Thank you.

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  21. Love the link - I'm anti-click unless I know for sure who originated it. If I see something I have to have, I do a Google search and go to the horse's mouth - well, except for cat videos, sometimes I click on cat videos. What gets me is how so much stuff I search for on Google turns up on my Facebook feed. Just for kicks and giggles, I always try to search deadly poisons. Seems to slow the FB bot down to a crawl! Maybe it's a side effect.

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  22. I am always tempted by the skin care videos. Also what to never wear if you’re over sixty-usually it’s something I would never wear anyway! And haircuts! I have short hair and I can’t dye it (allergies) so I’m always looking at new cuts-which if I try one, look remarkably like my current cut. 😂🤷🏼‍♀️

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    1. SO tempting--because I am SURE there's something we don;t know about how not to look old. HA! xx

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  23. I used to click relentlessly until I learned better. And I nearly fell for a scam--not the Chicos one, but basically the same trap. Thankfully, my Spidey senses started tingling before I clicked submit.

    I am, however, a sucker for the cute cat videos, the cute horse videos, and that gal doing the video you posted, Hank. She makes me laugh every time.

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    1. Sucker for cute cat videos myself.

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  24. For those of you who gets ads and unwanted emails, do you use Google Mail? I wonder if they collect data based on your clicks through your Internet service.

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    1. Google is one of the worst for tracking your clicks/views.

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  25. I don't know about anyone else but that link Hank provided took me to a reall about the Oxford Comma.

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  26. That Anon was me.

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  27. I have always been hesitant to click on some of those sites. I will admit that sometimes I will search for something really weird just to see what ads will start popping up in my feeds. Darned if I don't start see ads related to that weird stuff. Honestly, the whole internet scene is becoming very draining to me. I think there is such a thing as too much information. I find myself taking more and more days away from the computer and feeling so much "lighter" because of it. Something to ponder...--Victoria

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    1. That IS something to ponder, Victoria! ANd I know others are thinking the same thing...

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  28. Sometimes I will click on lists that may indicate the x number of best..such as travel destinations. ‘ll only do it if it is from a legitimate organization most of the time. I like to see how many places they recommend that I have visited. The same thing with some best ratings.
    I always look to see if they are advertisements which I pass on just so I’m not inundated with.them in the future. Most of the time I am successful.
    I keep my history and cookies cleared which also helps block unwanted material showing up on the screen.
    You can also use the search engine DuckDuckGo which is supposed to be good at keeping searches from being tracked.

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    1. Yes, a commenter about says DDG is effective, too! (and I always forget to clear my history--thank you!)

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  29. Hank, that reel is well worth watching for grammar lovers! And Jenn - I want to know what the viral Korean face mask that works is! I need to load up ASAP before that all get priced out of my range...

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    1. Yes, so frustrating..and a whole nother blog...xxx

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  30. I need to get Ad Blocker and Duck, Duck, Go and anything else that will block the ads. I’m a clicker but learned not to buy through Facebook. I will say I have always received what I ordered but it’s usually a poor quality substitute for what I thought I was getting.

    I was visiting a friend a couple of years ago and we were chatting away about something innocuous. The next day her Facebook feed had ads for something we had discussed. She was shocked and confused how that could have happened. I pointed to her Alexa and explained that it listens as well as plays. That’s why Edith’s comment that she doesn’t have a smart speaker and yet gets ads based on conversations they’ve had in her home is so scary. Maybe we need to turn off our phones, iPads, etc. when we want to talk?

    (One last comment on videos worth checking out: the Half Husky Brothers, Dodo [for wonderful animal rescue stories] and Mrs. Frazzled [for a teacher talking to the people in charge of the world as if they were kindergarteners]. Sorry!) — Pat S

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    1. LOVE Mrs. Frazzled. SO funny and so clever! And so smart. Interestingly, my husband and I did a test of Alexa a few days ago, and deliberately talked about wanting a very specific thing to see if we would get ads about it--and we did NOT! Well, yet....

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  31. I don’t click on ads ever on FB, I’m not on Instagram so no clicking there. I do love when friends and people I follow post photos of their cats (I’m a cat woman) and dogs and gardens and ducks. I do look at some of the ads, before I hide them forever, and think “I should check out that company, and them promptly forget…

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  32. Recentl there was a piece in the Boston Globe by Aaron Pressman about why he's stopped using Google (snagged by paid ads that come up first)... He said: "After I learned my lesson, I did some research in search of better search. People I trust on the Internet, including the Apple blogger John Gruber and novelist Cory Doctorow, recommended a new search engine called Kagi."

    Has anyone here heard of Kagi or used it??

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    1. Oh I saw that, Hallie! Great question---I had never heard of it! And then promptly forgot to check it out....

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  33. ((here are the Huskies trying food.. https://www.facebook.com/watch/?v=663270844641200. ))

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